I’ve been struggling. A smile on my face and a bounce in my step are like my protection against facing my own true feelings. However, like the healthy leaves they are to me, they are wilting. Struggling to hold even their own weight in the absence of adequate nutrition and sunshine, let alone my own too.
I feel like all the ones I love and care about are having a real tough time and there is nothing I can do to ease their pain.
My dear little girl Chip dog has also been very poorly. After recovering from a nasty infection from the poison of a blackthorn her back gave way. Everything in spasm. And with lots of cocktails of medication and trips to the vets, everyday I have faced the very real possibility that it may be her last.
I feel so drained emotionally and have just got home from yet another trip to the vets. After acupuncture really helping her last night, she cut her side this evening needing 11 staples. She is so strong and so brave.
After plodding up the stairs like they were the rocks of Everest I ran a bath and finally got the chance to read my messages.
That’s when it happened……..
I had a message from a lovely lady friend of mine. It was a video.
A video of an Orange!
I thought Aaaahhhhhh oranges! And took my mind to the citrusy land.
There were hands cutting into the orange.
Hmmm, salivating at the thought of that juicy goodness bursting out….
After lots of cutting and me almost slightly deliriously dreaming of oranges; something amazing happened.
The hands peeled the orange and placed the skin flat on the table…….
It was a unicorn!!!!
Like the snap of a hypnotists fingers I was back in the room…… and smiling!!!
I looked at Grace…….and I remembered. We are all given life……and we can do with it as we wish.
We can choose to ignore it’s potential and let it turn fuzzy and green and mushy and wilty like my leaves of armour.
We can shape it and mould it into something beautiful. And actually my citrus skin unicorn is made up of:
- My hospital bed went back this week.
- I am back at uni.
- I have amazing friends and family.
- I have so far maintained my weight.
- I jumped my horse Spirit for the first time in 18 months at the weekend.
- Me and Ash are tentatively started the search for our own nest.
- And Chippy dog is still here!
Thank you oranges and Grace.
Sometimes we just need a gentle orange reminder of what our skin is all about.