Saturday was a big day for me! I have only just pulled my brain back into a reasonable state of focus……..my body is still catching up. But it was worth it because Saturday night marked a big step for me both physically and emotionally. I went to a dinner dance in aid of the British Red Cross who have been one of the many hands that have aided me in my recovery. It was held at the local cricket club and was all finished at midnight but this was the equivalent of an exclusive A list event for me; worlds apart from my sheltered little life.
So I turned into a typical girl in the run up to this event. After my usual early start for sorting out Norman, my feed and medication, I hiked up the stairs with the grace of sea lion to submerge myself in the bath. I washed my hair and applied a hair mask, I successfully completed a facemask which Norman usually has some objection to, and Shakey McShakeface even left me alone to exfoliate and shave the thin wisps of hair on my body that I do have. Since being unwell I have shed my hair on my legs and body to be replaced by the odd fur-like strand here and there, so I really don’t need to shave my legs but I was wearing a dress……. and as a woman it made me feel better to pretend I needed to, almost like a pre-teen desperate to do all the things your friends are doing!
So after all this self grooming was complete it was time for phase 2. I covered myself with a light tanning mousse with a hint of shimmer in an effort to make me sparkle and take the attention away from Norman! I rough dried my hair and put some setting lotion in before plaiting it into 2 French plaits.
Now it was time for phase 3. REST! Now whilst I appreciate this is not a normal part of one’s routine, it has forced itself upon me. Anyway, I couldn’t do much else as I had to let my gorgeous glowing tan develop and for my hair to set into wonderful waves! I also had to save my spoons. For those of you that don’t know what the spoon theory is I will give a brief summary.
We all start our day with 12 spoons (just an example). We all spend our spoons differently throughout the day. Getting up and dressed in the morning may only cost you 1 spoon whereas it may cost me 4. This means I have less spoons to spend on the rest of the day. So if I have something planned later on then I need to save my spoons by doing less throughout the day. The cost of spoons also varies each day. One day it may cost me 3 spoons to walk to the end of the garden and another day it may cost me 9. You healthy cutlery filled people don’t really need to worry about this theory because your draws are full of spoons, but it’s a nice way to help explain the pacing of life for anyone with fatigue.
Spoon theory in mind I desperately tried to sleep. I kept my eyes closed and counted sheep with little success. I was stuck in that place of half consciousness where you feel you teetering between sleep and leaping up in frustration at the fact you are not asleep. This continued until I decided it wasn’t too early to start getting ready if I did it v.e.r.y.s.l.o.w.l.y. Once I was all dolled up the doorbell rung and I thought my stomach had leapt into my mouth with excitement and anticipation. After all the lack of slumber due to excitement I suddenly wanted to jump back into my PJs and hide under the safety of my duvet with Grace.
But amazing Ash was there on the other side of the door and my whole body went warm and gooey when I saw that big welcoming smile beneath that bushy beard. What if he was embarrassed taking me out like this when he was looking marvellous all smart and suited? After all, Norman isn’t exactly the most glamorous addition to an outfit. As these thoughts raised through my mind Ash said “you look beautiful”. And all of a sudden it didn’t matter what anyone else thought because if Ash thought that I looked beautiful then nothing else mattered.
I needn’t have worried as everyone was super friendly and I even bumped into some old friends! I picked at some food, joined in with the raffle, “ooooed” and “aaahhhhed” at the magician and even did a cheeky Macarena!!
I felt elated and proud. Proud of how far I have come. And even more proud to be on the arm of the most amazing man that I could ever wish for.
Yesterday I woke up with a “spoonover”. It’s my version of a hangover. Most people drink too much; I went into my “spoon-overdraft” which meant I have spent 2 days recovering paying my debt back. Parasitic Pain, Naff off Nausea and Shakey McShakeface have had a whale of a time! However they didn’t stop 2 old friends from popping over today with a beautiful Christmas rose plant and plenty of giggles.
Am I also sitting here writing this next to the best brother in the world who has come to visit. My whole body is hurting but I can sit here and smile thinking humbly about the things I have spent my spoons on over the weekend. Isn’t that what life is about?
Keep on with the force don’t stop, Don’t stop ’til you get enough……